Walmart is a Weird Place

Kinja'd!!! "Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
11/04/2016 at 10:44 • Filed to: walmart

Kinja'd!!!3 Kinja'd!!! 9

I’ve talked before about my local !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Yesterday my wife was home sick from work and her comfort food is Stouffer’s Mac N Cheese so I stopped by Walmart yesterday on the ride home. It’s on the way.

As I parked the car, I was directly across the sidewalk from a very nice Garnet Red NB Miata with a tan roof and interior. Like this, and almost as shiny:

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Well, a tall, thin guy dressed like an “Old Jeep Guy” - think Indiana Jones with a Land’s End windbreaker instead of leather jacket - gets in. He set his bag on the passenger seat, grabbed something out of it, opened it, peeled the seal off, and took a big gulp. As I walked past, I saw it was caramel syrup.

Then, because I had three items, I decided to use self-checkout. At one of the self-check registers there was a stoner couple who was clearly very high. They had a cart full of groceries. They were moving so slowly and seemed so confused. The talking register alternated between “unexpected item in bagging area” and “Please place your item in bagging area” about every other scan.

If I had an extra hour I’d have gone into the Subway and watched.


DISCUSSION (9)


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
11/04/2016 at 10:48

Kinja'd!!!0

caramel syrup?

WTF WALMART?!


Kinja'd!!! PotbellyJoe and 42 others > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
11/04/2016 at 10:55

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He could have been trying to prevent a hypoglycemic episode. My father-in-law who has had issues with his sugar if he ever has to change his insulin will keep frosting tubes in his car just in case he starts to feel one come on.


Kinja'd!!! The Lurktastic Opponaught > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
11/04/2016 at 10:55

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Caramel syrup straight from the bottle? That’s nasty.

Everyone knows you have to warm it up first.


Kinja'd!!! Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > PotbellyJoe and 42 others
11/04/2016 at 11:16

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I hadn’t thought of that. It makes perfect sense.


Kinja'd!!! DipodomysDeserti > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
11/04/2016 at 11:20

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Chugging carmel syrup is hard core. Dude was either a diabetic or just out of his mind.

I once saw a fairly disheveled father with two small children sans shoes walking through a local Wal Mart. The strangest part was that he had a full sized Smith and Wesson M&P just sitting in the back pocket of his loose fitting jeans. The thing was half sticking out and flopping all over the place. I then realized how people managed to get plugged by their kids when shopping.


Kinja'd!!! TheRealBicycleBuck > PotbellyJoe and 42 others
11/04/2016 at 11:26

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One of my relatives kept a supply of peppermints in his truck for the same reason.


Kinja'd!!! Future next gen S2000 owner > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
11/04/2016 at 12:15

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Everyone knows you always go for maple syrup.

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Kinja'd!!! Frenchlicker > PotbellyJoe and 42 others
11/04/2016 at 13:53

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Better than what is done for animals. They get straight Karo syrup.


Kinja'd!!! Svend > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection
01/02/2017 at 01:55

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I work at the U.K. arm of Walmart.

The people we get in, bloody hell.

The self scans are a PITA, but no matter how many times I say to them, ‘one person to operate it’, they continue to scan an item, then pass it to their partner, who then spends an eternity looking for the right bag to put it in, while the first person is trying to scan another item, by which time the machine is saying, “please place the item in the bagging area!”, if you don’t for too long it turns the green light amber and assumes you don’t want to bag the item, shortly after the bagging person has finally found that perfect place in a carrier bag to put it and done so, now the machine is saying, “unexpected item in the bagging area, please remove this item”.

At which point I want to shout, “oy you, yes you, stand over there, let them scan and bag the items and we can all get out of here with normal blood pressures”.

Then there are the older people, not old, just older who stand at the machine, look at you till you go over and ask if they are okay. Only to give you the completely lost look on their face and thrust the items at you to scan. then give you their credit card to put in the machine while the next two or three tills are wanting approval to buy alcohol, paracetamol, drowsy cough medicine, or a knife (all items need to be age checked).

All this while I’m not even till trained as I’m a shelf filler and the till operator has been taken to do an aisle because our managers couldn’t run a bath never mind a piss up in a brewery or a store.

After 13 years I’ve seen it all from rallying pro girls wearing the tiniest skirts, no knickers and bending over so you can see they aren’t to a gypsy person who decided they didn’t like our store and proceeded to defecate on the floor in the meds and vits aisle. Two cleaners having sex on a waste compactor, one colleague getting a blow job in an overstock chiller (who get caught by the ugliest most miserable manageress ever, which would turn any penis from an ‘outy’ to an ‘innie’).